Wedding Invitation Etiquette

There is a certain degree of etiquette which surrounds most of the rights of passage in life, not the least of which is the institution of marriage. Wedding invitations in particular have strict rules of etiquette attached to them. If your wedding is being planned "by the book" then you will want to heed them.

Traditional weddings call for traditional invitations. The following guideline, excerpted from The Bride's Wedding Planner will provide you with all you need to know about wedding invitations:

On the traditional invitation, names are written in full (no nicknames, initials, or abbreviations except for Mr. Mrs. Ms. or Dr.).

Numbers, including those in short addresses, are spelled out. Likewise the date and time of the ceremony are written out.

Invitations are almost always issued in the name of the bride's parents, even if she lives away from home or has been married before. If her parents are deceased, her guardian, a close relative or family friend may sponsor the wedding. When only one parent is living, the invitations are issued in his or her name alone. If the bride's parents are divorced, the name of only one parent - usually the one who raised her - appears on the invitation. If the parent has remarried, the step-parents name also goes on the first line followed by his/her daughter's to indicate relationship.

Invitations should be addressed by hand, using a neat, legible script. Use black ink if possible to match the printing. Some people prefer to have their envelopes done by a Calligrapher.

The guests full name(s) go outside the envelope, followed by the address. The inside envelope carries the last name only (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) and nothing else.

For a church or temple ceremony "the honour of your presence is requested". For a non-church wedding or reception it is "the pleasure of your company".

You may request a reply to the reception with "R.S.V.P." or "Please respond" in the lower left corner of the invitation. This is known as "Corner Copy" and there is usually an extra charge for this.

Each adult member of the family receives an invitation, as well as dates of single guests.

The phrase "and family" is never used. Instead, invited children's names go on a line under their parents names on the inside envelope.

* Most of this article is from the Spring 1997 TV Facts Bridal Guide distributed in Salem NH.

USE OF HONOR VS. HONOUR

HONOR

You are cordially invited to attend

a Retirement Party

in honor of Bob Johnson

HONOUR

Mr. and Mrs Robert Johnson

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

NOTE: Some people choose to use HONOR anyway.

Church and Non-Church Ceremonies

For Church ceremonies:

request the honour of your presence

For Non-Church Ceremonies:

the pleasure of your company is requested

Dates:

Wedding dates and times are usually written out:

on Saturday, the twentieth of May

Two thousand

Times:

Wedding dates and times are usually written out:

at half past two o'clock in the afternoon

( instead of 2:30 p.m.)

or

at six o'clock in the evening

or

at one-thirty in the afternoon

( instead of 1:30 p.m.)

The Bride's Guide to Ordering Wedding Stationery and
Generally Accepted Rules of Etiquette

Courtesy of Regency Thermographers

Your Wedding Stationery...will be a reflection of your good taste and personal style.
The Bride's Guide is intended to show you beautiful wedding stationery with the socially correct usage.

Wedding Invitations
The Invitation is the most important part of your Wedding Invitation Ensemble. It shows who is getting married, the day, time, year and location and hosts. The Invitation is mailed approximately six to eight weeks before the ceremony. Invitations may be issued by the parents of the bride or by the bride and groom themselves. If one parent is deceased, the surviving parent may issue the invitation. If both parents are deceased, a guardian, a close relative or a family friend may serve as the sponsor and issue the invitation. Examples of these formats are provided below.

Invitation Envelopes
Traditionally, Wedding Invitations and Announcements have two envelopes, an inner and an outer. The Invitation is inserted into the inner envelope facing the back flap, with the names of those invited handwritten on the front. The inner envelope is addressed "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (first names omitted), without address. Avoid using the phrase "and family". All family members should be included, for example: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", "Julie and Andrew". After the inner envelope is properly addressed, place it in an outer envelope which is sealed and addressed. The inner envelope usually does not have a gummed flap and is often ordered with a colored lining. Colored envelope linings are made available to you at a slight additional charge. Select from the lining colors shown. The inner envelope is then inserted into the outer envelope,
which is sealed and mailed. To assure that the invited guests receive your invitation, we recommend that you have your return address printed on the outer envelope flap. Envelopes should never be typed but should be written by hand.

Abbreviations of Courtesy Titles
The abbreviations for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr. are used as proper titles. Always write out titles for clergy, judges and military officers.

Addresses
House numbers are expressed in figures except for the house number "One". No commas are used when separating digits in house numbers. Apartment numbers, suite numbers, box numbers and rural route numbers are expressed in figure form. Addresses of churches, clubs or public buildings are usually omitted because such addresses are public knowledge and generally well known. However, a street address may be shown below the name of the church or club if such an address is considered necessary for clear direction.

Free Addressing Guide
You will receive a free Envelope Addressing Guide with every invitation order, which also includes instructions for folding and inserting your invitations as our way of saying "Thank you".

Postage
Depending on the number of enclosures and the size and weight of your invitation, extra postage may be needed. Bring one of your invitation ensembles (including all
enclosures) to your local Post Office so they can tell you how much postage is required. Be sure to ask to see their selection of decorative stamps for your invitation and
response envelopes.

Wedding Seals
Envelope Seals are placed on the outer envelope flap to give your invitation a more attractive appearance.

Reception Cards
This card is enclosed with the Invitation to show the time and place of the reception. The Reception Card is inserted with the Invitation into the inner envelope.

Response Cards with Printed Return Address Envelopes
This card is enclosed with the Invitation so that you can finalize reception arrangements and provide for all who plan to attend. It is a nice and convenient way for guests to reply. The Return Envelope is printed with the address of the person(s) issuing the invitation. The printed Return Envelope is included in the price of the Respond Cards.

Direction and Map Cards
The Direction Card, which is enclosed with the Invitation, is a thoughtful and practical way to be sure your guests arrive at the correct location for your ceremony or reception. This card is enclosed with the invitation. No envelopes are required. If further directions are needed, a map may be necessary.

New Address Cards
Sometimes referred to as At Home Cards, these cards may be enclosed with Wedding Invitations or Announcements or mailed separately after the wedding. If you choose to include your New Address Card with your Invitation and are planning to change your name, it is not proper to use your married name. When mailed after the ceremony, this card may also be used to express the name preference of the bride. Single envelopes are included.

Wedding Announcements
The Wedding Announcement is sent to those who have not been invited to the wedding. Announcements can be the same as your Invitations in terms of design, ink color and lettering. Any Invitation in this album may be used as a Wedding Announcement. Announcements may be sent to friends or relatives who live far away, old friends
who have been out of contact with the bride and groom, business associates and friends who cannot be included because of limited space or resources. Announcements are usually addressed beforehand and mailed immediately after the wedding.

Thank You and Informal Personal Notes
The Informal Personal Note may be personalized with the names of the Bride and Groom, the Bride's name only or a monogram. They are perfect for a personal thank you and for many other occasions when a brief correspondence is necessary. We can print the words "Thank You" on any Informal Personal Note, using the same elegant raised lettering and ink color as your invitation. Informal Personal Notes and Thank You Notes come with a matching envelope. Your return address may be printed in raised letters on the envelope flap for a slight additional charge.

Church Pew Cards
To ensure reserved seating for your special guests within the front ribboned pews, we suggest the use of Church Pew Cards. This card is enclosed with your Invitation. No envelopes are required. Guests should hand this card to the usher when being seated

Mother and Father LIVING
Use Conventional Invitation Format as Follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
on Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and five
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Saint Ann Church
Richmond, Virginia

If the Wedding is held at the Home of a friend,
substitute in place of Church
the following wording:
...at the residence of
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Carl Powell
875 Baker Street
Richmond, Virginia


Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has NOT REMARRIED

MOTHER Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

FATHER Issuing Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks


Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has REMARRIED

MOTHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation
using her Present Husband's name:
Mr. and Mrs. Carl Spencer
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

FATHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

(In either of these cases, if the Bride is close
to her stepparent, the phrase
"at the marriage of their daughter" is acceptable.)


Mother and Father DECEASED
and Brother or Sister issues Invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Terrence Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his sister
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
or
Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Kelley
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her sister
Kimberly Ann Williams
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks


BRIDE'S Parents and GROOM'S
Parents issuing Invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Kimberly Ann
and Paul David


BRIDE and GROOM issuing
OWN Invitation

Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

The word "Ms." may be substituted for "Miss".


DIVORCED Parents issuing Invitation

DIVORCED Mother's Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

DIVORCED Father's Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

DIVORCED Parents Both Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
and
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks


SECOND MARRIAGES

Invitations to the marriage of a young divorcee or
widow do not differ from those of a first marriage
except that the Bride's married name and her title may be used:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Ms. Kimberly Ann Williams Smith
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

GROOM'S FAMILY Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
to their son
Mr. Paul David Brooks

Either "Miss" or "Ms." are used when the
sponsors of the wedding are not relatives.


DOUBLE WEDDINGS

When Brides are SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Jenna Elaine
to
Dr. Timothy Lee Andrews

When Brides are NOT SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and Mr. and Mrs. Frank Moreland
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Lauren Renee Moreland
to
Mr. Christian Robert Stewart


RECEPTION Invitation
Issued when Ceremony is PRIVATE:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and five
at six o'clock in the evening
The Riverside Inn
Richmond, Virginia


Correct Use of Military Rank on Wedding Invitations

NAVY

ENSIGN and HIGHER RANK:
to
Paul David Brooks
Ensign, United States Navy

PETTY OFFICER and SEAMEN:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Navy


ARMY, AIR FORCE AND MARINES

CAPTAIN or HIGHER RANK:
to
Captain Paul David Brooks
United States Army

LIEUTENANT:
to
Paul David Brooks
Lieutenant, United States Army

NON-COMS and PRIVATES:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Army

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